Innovation Nation

My bullying paid off when I harassed my friends to brave the vicious weather and attend the World Trade Center perennial mid-year white party. Fortunately, I did as the monsoon’s elemental assault drenched the metro unmercifully that night. 

The rain poured like there’s no tomorrow even before we reached the venue. The wind roared angrily as its cold breeze slapped our faces the moment we stepped out of the cab.

It was me, JR and Allan. 

We shared each other’s glory and we supported each other when we felt the painful abandonment of good karma. Needless to say, our friendship has remained strong over the years and we have powered through adversities, failed relationships and petty fights.

One thing we haven’t shared though was my apparent joy and often longing for the thunderous thumpa-thumpa of circuit parties since I have fallen into its addiction 2 years ago. This was their first time.

Hi, I’m Silvan and I’m a circuit party addict.

At 30 past midnight, we entered the hallowed hall of the one-night music Mecca. We have agreed that we have put up with the cold and damp long enough to be deemed fashionably late. 

Shortly after, we slowly treaded the signature dark tunnel anticipating the visual and auditory cornucopia at the end. We excitedly approached the light as it shine brighter with every step.

Soon after, we were greeted with the thunderous sound of the Big Fish’s 2013 Innovation White party.

The strobes and laser lights were brilliantly stacked up to showcase a proud choreography in sync with the heart pumping beats played by Internationally renowned and resident DJ’s. By the time Ana Criado belted her set, we were already having a euphoric audio blast. 

We danced ‘till we literally dropped.

Drowned in overpriced booze and an awesome time, my friends and I went home having the time of our lives vowing to be back in August.

When Innovation fades to black. 

photos here

Burned Biscuit

Disclaimer: This is something shared by my BFF. 

When I was a kid, my Mom liked to make breakfast food for dinner every now and then. And I remember one night in particular when she had made breakfast after a long, hard day at work. On that evening so long ago, my mom placed a plate of eggs, sausage and extremely burned biscuits in front of my dad. I remember waiting to see if anyone noticed! Yet all my dad did was reach for his biscuit, smile at my mom and ask me how my day was at school. I don't remember what I told him that night, but I do remember watching him smear butter and jelly on that ugly burned biscuit. He ate every bite of that thing... never made a face nor uttered a word about it! When I got up from the table that evening, I remember hearing my mom apologize to my dad for burning the biscuits. And I'll never forget what he said: "Honey, I love burned biscuits every now and then." Later that night, I went to kiss Daddy good night and I asked him if he really liked his biscuits burned. He wrapped me in his arms and said, "Your Momma put in a hard day at work today and she's real tired. And besides - a little burned biscuit never hurt anyone!" 

As I've grown older, I've thought about that many times. Life is full of imperfect things and imperfect people. I'm not the best at hardly anything, and I forget birthdays and anniversaries just like everyone else. But what I've learned over the years is that learning to accept each other's faults - and choosing to celebrate each other's differences - communicating is one of the most important keys to creating a healthy, growing, and lasting relationship... 

and that's my prayer for you today... that you will learn to take the good, the bad, and the ugly parts of your life and lay them at the feet of God. Because in the end, He's the only One who will be able to give you a relationship where a burnt biscuit isn't a deal-breaker! We could extend this to any relationship. In fact, understanding is the base of any relationship, be it a husband-wife or parent-child or friendship! "Don't put the key to your happiness in someone else's pocket - keep it in your own." 

So, please pass me a biscuit, and yes, the burned one will do just fine. And PLEASE pass this along to someone who has enriched your life. Be kinder than necessary because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle. "Life without God is like an unsharpened pencil - it has no point." 

Haiku ver 3.0

Of Ex's and Extra's

I had a minor scare yesterday when my laptop crashed and didn't power up immediately. I realize that all my files, were not backed up. After a huge sigh of relief, I transferred all my files in an external hard drive. Whilst I did, I found this thread which was saved years back.

Kyle [5:17 AM]: msta?

Silvan [5:17 AM]: ok lang naman

Silvan [5:17 AM]: ikaw?

Kyle [5:17 AM]: maayos din

Kyle [5:17 AM]: nagiging ok n ang lahat

Kyle [5:17 AM]: may bago ako BF

Silvan [5:18 AM]: anong bago?

Kyle [5:18 AM]: dalawa na BF ko

Silvan [5:18 AM]: huh?

Kyle [5:18 AM]: uu

Silvan [5:18 AM]: sino yung isa?

Kyle [5:18 AM]: taga Cebu

Silvan [5:18 AM]: nasa cebu siya ngayon?

Kyle [5:18 AM]: so 3 n kami sa relationship

Kyle [5:18 AM]: nandito

Silvan [5:18 AM]: alam ni original bf?

Kyle [5:19 AM]: mag momove n sa bahay ngayong friday

Kyle [5:19 AM]: uu naman

Silvan [5:19 AM]: talaga

Kyle [5:19 AM]: kaya nga 3 na kami sa relationship

Silvan [5:19 AM]: paano set-up nun?

Kyle [5:19 AM]: sabi ni BF ko

Kyle [5:19 AM]: kesa magloko ako

Kyle [5:20 AM]: eh kukuha nlang kami ng pangatlo sa relationship

Kyle [5:20 AM]: actually ung bago kong bf matagal n nanligaw sa amin yun

Kyle [5:20 AM]: gusto nya maging part sa relationship namin

Silvan [5:20 AM]: mahirap yan

Kyle [5:21 AM]: uu nga

Kyle [5:21 AM]: pero try namin i work

Silvan [5:21 AM]: pero kung saan ka masaya friend...

Silvan [5:21 AM]: alam mo may isang maiiwan dyan

Kyle [5:21 AM]: pero sa ngayun

Kyle [5:21 AM]: ayaw ko p sana

Silvan [5:21 AM]: laging may isang maiiwan

Kyle [5:21 AM]: kasi hnd p totally heal ung sugat n ginawa ko sa BF ko

Silvan [5:22 AM]: sinabi mo ba?

Kyle [5:22 AM]: uu

Kyle [5:22 AM]: pero sabi ni BF

Silvan [5:22 AM]: at nagsisisi ka na ba talaga?

Kyle [5:22 AM]: mas kampanti sya iwan ako sa bahay na alam nya may nagbabantay sa akin

Kyle [5:22 AM]: uu naman

Kyle [5:22 AM]: nagsisi n ako

Kyle [5:22 AM]: pero alam ko kulang p yun

Kyle [5:23 AM]: gusto ko na bumalik sa normal ang lahat

Silvan [5:23 AM]: well, kung napagusapan niyo yan and desisyon niyo parehas. ok lan

Kyle [5:23 AM]: uu nga eh

Kyle [5:23 AM]: mabait nman yung guy

Silvan [5:24 AM]: cute ba

Kyle [5:24 AM]: uu

Silvan [5:24 AM]: anong itsura?

Kyle [5:24 AM]: hehehe

Silvan [5:24 AM]: mas cute kay original bf?

Kyle [5:24 AM]: mas bata kasi

Silvan [5:24 AM]: bata

Silvan [5:24 AM]: sangol?

Silvan [5:24 AM]: hahahahahaha

Kyle [5:24 AM]: 24

Kyle [5:24 AM]: hahahaha

Silvan [5:24 AM]: nong pangalan?

Kyle [5:25 AM]: di ko pa memorize

Kyle [5:25 AM]: ill let you know

Silvan [5:25 AM]: j cody?

Kyle [5:25 AM]: hahahha

Kyle [5:25 AM]: ayoko ng puti

Kyle [5:25 AM]: gusto pinoy lang

Silvan [5:25 AM]: cebuano si j cody

Kyle [5:25 AM]: weeee

Silvan [5:26 AM]: pinoy na pinoy. may killer eyes and hot body

Silvan [5:26 AM]: huh???

Silvan [5:26 AM]: anyway

Silvan [5:26 AM]: like i said, walang pakialam ang mundo kung yun ang set-up niyo

Kyle [5:26 AM]: tama

Silvan [5:27 AM]: pero sa ganyang relationship, laging may maiiwan

Kyle [5:27 AM]: pero malamang feeling ko di magttgal ang ganyang setup

Silvan [5:27 AM]: baka magaway lang kayo lalo

Kyle [5:27 AM]: hnd nmn cguro

Kyle [5:27 AM]: kahit ano mangyari di ko iiwan si Ben

Silvan [5:27 AM]: ending niyan kay cutie ka pa mapupunta

Silvan [5:28 AM]: wawa naman si original bf

Kyle [5:28 AM]: hahaha

Kyle [5:28 AM]: imposible yan

Silvan [5:28 AM]: bakit naman imposible?

Kyle [5:28 AM]: bat ako mapupunta dun i mas kilala ko na asawa ko

Kyle [5:29 AM]: at alagang alaga nya ako lagi

Kyle [5:29 AM]: eh yung isa

Kyle [5:29 AM]: bata pa

Kyle [5:29 AM]: marami p cguro sya mapagdadaanan

Kyle [5:29 AM]: pero kung kagaya ko sya

Kyle [5:29 AM]: malamang magttgal ang relationship

Silvan [5:29 AM]: sana ginawa niyo na lang set-up is open relationship

Silvan [5:30 AM]: eh paano kung si new bf parang ikaw pala?

Kyle [5:30 AM]: ayaw namin ganun

Kyle [5:30 AM]: mas prone sa sakit yun

Kyle [5:30 AM]: eh di mas ttgal relationship naming 3

Silvan [5:31 AM]: alam mo yun open relationship magiging prone ka lang sa sakit kung masyado kang malandi at di ka nagiingat

Silvan [5:31 AM]: and kung kani-kanino ka lang suma-sama

Kyle [5:31 AM]: un nga eh

Kyle [5:32 AM]: pero napag usapan na namin yan

Silvan [5:32 AM]: pero if that's your philosophy... i respect it

Kyle [5:32 AM]: pero ayaw namin ng ganyan set up

Kyle [5:32 AM]: hehehhee

Silvan [5:33 AM]: well... si new bf pwedeng lumandi sa iba?

Kyle [5:33 AM]: hindi

Kyle [5:34 AM]: bawal

Silvan [5:34 AM]: hmmmmm....

Silvan [5:34 AM]: pustahan tayo maghahanap din yan.

Kyle [5:35 AM]: aalamin nnmin yan

Kyle [5:35 AM]: may mga rules dapat

Kyle [5:35 AM]: kung ayaw nya

Kyle [5:35 AM]: ayos lang

Silvan [5:35 AM]: question: kung dumating yung time na kailangan mong mamili sa kanilang dalawa, sino pipiliin mo?

Kyle [5:35 AM]: si Ben

Silvan [5:36 AM]: see

Kyle [5:36 AM]: matagal n kami

Silvan [5:36 AM]: unfair kay new bf

Kyle [5:36 AM]: malalaman din nya yun

Kyle [5:36 AM]: sasabihin ko naman sa kanya

Silvan [5:36 AM]: basically di relationship yung inooffer niyo sa kaniya

Kyle [5:36 AM]: eh sya tong gusto manghimasok sa relationship namin

Silvan [5:37 AM]: ginagamit niyo lang siya... that's unfair for him

Kyle [5:37 AM]: pero later on..

Silvan [5:37 AM]: pero kung gusto niya ring magpagamit, di niyo na problema yun

Kyle [5:37 AM]: matutunan din namin sya mahalin

Kyle [5:37 AM]: tama k jan

Silvan [5:37 AM]: laging may isang tao na mas mamahalin mo Kyle. tandaan mo yan

Kyle [5:38 AM]: uu naman

Kyle [5:38 AM]: let's see

Kyle [5:38 AM]: kung anong mangyayari

Silvan [5:38 AM]: let see...

Silvan [5:39 AM]: akala ko ba gusto mo nang hiwalayan si orginal bf?

Kyle [5:39 AM]: dahil sa gusto ko ng maging single

Kyle [5:39 AM]: pero napag isipan ko na mas kailangan ko sya sa buhay ko

Kyle [5:39 AM]: so ayun

Kyle [5:40 AM]: niligawan ko uli

Silvan [5:40 AM]: you need him because you love him

Silvan [5:40 AM]: or

Silvan [5:40 AM]: you love him because you nee him?

Kyle [5:40 AM]: kailangan ko sya kasi mahal ko sya

Silvan [5:40 AM]: good answer!

Kyle [5:41 AM]: kasama na si Ben sa lahat ng pangarap ko

Kyle [5:41 AM]: sana nga lang with this new set  up namin hnd magugulo relationship

Kyle [5:41 AM]: pero pag tingin ko sumisira n sya

Kyle [5:42 AM]: kailangan na tong iistop

Silvan [5:42 AM]: let him know

Kyle [5:42 AM]: transparent naman ako

Kyle [5:42 AM]: kahit si Ben

Kyle [5:43 AM]: so ikaw

Kyle [5:43 AM]: msta n lovelife?

Silvan [5:43 AM]: you wouldn't be in this situation if you were transparent enough

Silvan [5:43 AM]: lovelife? may date ako last sunday... nakita pa kami ni abs

Kyle [5:43 AM]: hahaha

Kyle [5:44 AM]: so how was it?

Silvan [5:44 AM]: he was cute naman. 19 years old, half japanese. part time model. title holder

Kyle [5:45 AM]: wow ha

Kyle [5:45 AM]: ano name?

Silvan [5:45 AM]: DJ

Kyle [5:45 AM]: ahhh

Silvan [5:45 AM]: kilala mo?

Kyle [5:45 AM]: good for you

Kyle [5:45 AM]: hnd

Silvan [5:45 AM]: pero di pa ako ready to take it to the next level

Kyle [5:45 AM]: wag muna

Silvan [5:46 AM]: i don't think i can

Silvan [5:46 AM]: mabait naman siya and i think he likes me enough

Silvan [5:46 AM]: pero i'm not sure kung i feel the same

Kyle [5:47 AM]: hehehee

Kyle [5:47 AM]: may FB sya?

Silvan [5:47 AM]: malamang meron

Silvan [5:47 AM]: pero i didn't pother to ask eh

Silvan [5:47 AM]: *bother

Kyle [5:47 AM]: ah ok

Silvan [5:48 AM]: baka this coming weekend lalabas ulit kami. after ng photoshoot niya.

Kyle [5:48 AM]: hehehee

Kyle [5:49 AM]: marami ako friends na mga model din

Kyle [5:49 AM]: pero wala pa ako kilala na DJ

Silvan [5:49 AM]: di naman siya established na model

Kyle [5:49 AM]: ahhh

Silvan [5:49 AM]: part time lang

Kyle [5:49 AM]: pero mga malalandi sila lahat

Kyle [5:49 AM]: hehehe

Silvan [5:50 AM]: oo nga eh sabi ko nga sa kanya nung nagdate kami sa ganyang career maraming temptation

Silvan [5:50 AM]: di naman niya dineny pero sabi niya iba daw siya

Kyle [5:51 AM]: hmmm

Kyle [5:51 AM]: yan ang sinasabi ng lahat

Silvan [5:51 AM]: bigyan ko lang daw siya ng opportunity na kilalanin siya

Kyle [5:51 AM]: wow

Silvan [5:51 AM]: feeling ko tuloy haba-haba ng buhok ko

Silvan [5:51 AM]: heheheheeheh

Kyle [5:51 AM]: hahaha

Silvan [5:52 AM]: mukha naman siyang seryoso sa sinabi niya

Silvan [5:52 AM]: pero wala sa kanya yung problem eh

Silvan [5:52 AM]: nasa sa akin

Silvan [5:53 AM]: di pa talaga ako ready

Silvan [5:54 AM]: ako nga yung medyo nahihiya sa kanya. medyo showy kasi siya

Silvan [5:54 AM]: di ako sanay

Kyle [5:54 AM]: wow

Kyle [5:54 AM]: mas gusto ko yan

Kyle [5:54 AM]: showie

Silvan [5:57 AM]: di ako sanay... pakiramdam ko nafeel niya rin yun kaya di na siya masyado naging show later on the date. Pero kiniss niya ako bago kami naghiwalay daming nakatingin sa amin... tapos nung  nakasakay na siya ng cab tapos ako pauwi na, narinig ko yung isang girl nagsalita... "sayang yung dalawa di mo iisipin na bading pala. nakaloko.

Silvan [5:57 AM]: heheheheheheheeh

Kyle [5:58 AM]: HAHAHHA

Kyle [5:58 AM]: sweet naman pala ng manliligaw mo

Kyle [5:58 AM]: gusto ko yun

Kyle [5:59 AM]: kasi ganun ako

Silvan [5:59 AM]: well, di siya si Mavie

Silvan [6:00 AM]: i don't mind kissing Mavie sa daan

Silvan [6:00 AM]: holding his hands

Silvan [6:00 AM]: lahat ng PDF

Silvan [6:00 AM]: pero hindi siya si Mavie

Months after this conversation, I found out that their 3rd wheel is Mark. 

No Other Man

Once again, Kapuso Network has decided to break the silence on once was a taboo in the Philippine free TV by way of their latest public offering, My Husband’s Lover.

Replacing Richard Gutierrez’s military flop, My Husband’s Lover will tell the story of Vincent and Lally as their “normal” relationship is tested by Vincent’s sexuality.

Now the question is how Filipinos, straight and gay alike, will react to this radical but real life concept.

Are we now ready for this kind of teleserye?

Are we going to be forgiving this time?

Remember “Out”? The short lived, 1 hour lifestyle show for people like us?

Though it dominated the Mega Manila ratings back in 2004, for some reason, it still went off the air.

I was never a big fan of GMA 7 shows but I absolutely applaud their efforts to promote diversity and understanding for the third sex.

Vincent and the Other Man

I just hope that this telenovela can give justice to the hype that its network created while living up to the Filipino gay community’s expectation.

And If it does,

pray that it shall not suffer it's somewhat predecessor's fate.

Angel: The Falling

read the first part here

So there we were, walking along Recto at 3 in the morning with my right arm around his shoulder.

After a while, he leaned resting his head on my side... at agad-agad na may May-I-hold-on-to-your-hands factor!

“Shyyyyyyet!” I thought. “Agad-agad? Pwedeng usap-usap muna?”

Well, come to think of it, I started it. I placed my arm comfortably on his shoulder as if he was mine. 

Or Silvan being Silvan, nag-assume nanaman ako. Pwede naman kasing sobrang lasing lang ang baby-faced angel kaya ganun maka-asta. 

Either-way, isang malaking kiber!!! Kilig to the bone marrows ako. Magjowa lang ang peg namin while treading the dark barren street. Choosy pa ba?

So I’m guessing we still have around 10 minutes of walking ahead of us so I figured we should better put this precious mock jowa-an time into good use and do what other real mag-jowa do when they are together in public... talk.

So in a span of almost 600 seconds, we have covered most of the formalities. His name is Paolo, a freshman student from CEU taking up Bachelor of Science in Nursing. Born from a broken family, he lives in Tondo with his grandparents and his younger brother while his mom works in the states. I also found out that he was actually on his way home from a night out with his schoolmates. Sobrang lasing ang loko kaya nakatulog sa sasakyan. Ayun lumagpas kaya sa may Morayta na nakababa.

He then asked me kung saan ako galing. I told him I had this craving for Lomi and Beef-Tofu kaya napadpad sa Espanya.

“Taga-saan ka ba?” He asked.

“Uhmmm... Kalookan. Sa Monumento.” I answered.

He then looked me in the eye with a mixture of amazement and probably doubt. “Huh? Layo nun ah... talagang dinayo mo pa Espanya?” 

Pak! Kinabahan ako kaya ayun deadma. Buti na lang sabay ng biglang liko namin ay ang pagbungad ng entrance ng motel. No need to change topic.

We went inside and I paid for the quickie. GV ko na ito. Ako naman kasi ang nag-invite. I asked for a ventilated room with our own toilet and paid for 2 bottles of mineral water and 2 towels. Then after I signed the logbook, we were immediately lead by the shabby roomboy to our room.

What I like about this motel is the location. It’s situated in a discreet place where people can get in and out without the mapanghusgang madlang people knowing. And for a cheap motel, it’s fairly clean.

I wish we could have checked in somewhere decent like Sogo which is just a stone throw away or Nice which is a little farther. But due to my budget constraints, this has to make do. 

We entered the room. Even though the room is clean, the smell of stale air greeted us with gusto. So habang si Paolo ay dumiretso sa kama, I opened the electric fan to let the air circulate and open the window just enough para makapasok ang hangin but close enough para kapag pinatay ang ilaw, there will be enough light para makita ko si Paolo in all his glory.

And  I got a peek of that glory paglingon ko sa kanya.

There he was innocently sleeping already. His pants neatly folded on the chair nearby. Amputi ng balbon legs ni Pao. Halatang may baby fats pa siya. I resisted touching his fair legs as my Mr Mushroom head sprang into attention. Nagkukumawala si “jun-jun”.

I walked past his semi-naked heavenly body and went straight into the door. I checked if it’s locked and turned off the lights.  

I sat on the other chair. As the stale air circulated out of the room, I watched as the light from the window crawls through his half naked body almost violating his innocence. I massaged my throbbing member releasing some of the tension.

Then it came to me like a wash of cold water. 

Violation.

Eto na naman ako sa pag-aanalyze ng mga bagay-bagay. 

I always go for a no-strings-attached, hot and steamy fun. Kaya nga galing ako sa bahay landian that night. 

I told myself, this is just a quickie; nothing more.

Because it’s less complicated.

You fuck. You have fun. You go for the next hot fuck.

Sabi nga ng idol ko. “No aplogies, no excuses, no regrets”

No fuss.

But why do I suddenly feel this way? Gusto ko siyang angkinin but not in a way driven by lust and libido. At least not anymore. Not in a way that I am the only one that will enjoy this experience. I told myself, “I wouldn’t do this if he doesn’t want to”.

Konsensya? Ikaw ba yan?

With a sudden jerk of movement, biglang humarap si Pao sa akin na parang nabasa ang isip ko at tumambad ang kanyang natutulog na mukha. Habang humahalik sa kanyang mukha ang ilaw na galing sa bintana, lalong lumalalim ang pagkabighani ko sa kanya. His face was so immaculately fragile.

With a sigh, I took my pants off and unbuttoned my shirt folding it neatly beside his stuff. My pole now starting to get soft, I took one of the towels and went straight into the bathroom with hopes that the cold water will wash away my uneasiness... It didn’t. 

I pat my body dry and wrapped it around my waist. I went straight to the table and put my cotton, boxers back on. Then I sat beside the bed and slowly unbutton his shirt, took it off him and fold it neatly on top of his jeans. Then humiga na ako sa tabi niya and hugged him. 

Ambango ng pawis ni Pao, magkahalong alak at Clinique Happy. Tulad ng magkahalong nararamdaman ko habang kayakap ko siya. Then he turned facing the wall. His cotton covered dick brushing my boxer covered shaft as he turned. Puta! Antambok ng puwet niya! I resisted the urge touch those buns but the moment my groin touched his smooth back, my dick turned steel hard again. We spooned. If he was awake, he would have felt how hard my boner was... again I resisted.

I kissed him in the neck and tried to get some sleep just enjoying the warmth of his body flowing through mine. 

Then just when my dick is already soft and I’m almost asleep, he turned again facing me this time with one hand inside his brief the other holding my head. He looked me in the eye, smiled and kissed me full on the lips.  

Last Minute Prep

My shift ended on a high note. I’m confident that I pretty much covered everything that I need to do before I leave for my 5 day vacation in Bangkok.

All the reports have been prepared.  My deliverables, properly endorsed.

I sent another e-mail to my boss and my team with regards to the endorsement and distribution of my work enumerating who will take care of what while I’m away cause I’ll be gone for almost a week and I warned my boss that I have no plans of answering my phone. In fact, I’m going to turn off my phone!

Just in case!

The e-mail would at least assure her that I’m leaving her with a very competent and organized support team... and also to cover my ass.

Planning to re-check everything for the last time, my boss approached my station and stopped me.

“Silvan, ok na lahat. Enjoy!” She smiled.

“Are you sure?”

“Keri na! Now get the hell out of here!” She said in her signature pinoy “fag-haggy” language.

With that being said, I quickly left the office before she changes her mind.

It all started September last year when I am, yet again, at another crossroad. I late, Sunday night, I got a phone call from J.R.

“Silvan, we’re going to Thailand! We bought you tickets and the hotel has been booked.” He said excitedly.

“Don’t worry I paid for your tickets. You can pay me later.”

“Uhmmm... Thank You?” I answered.

“Akala ko pa naman magiging masaya ka.”

“Sorry friend.  Sobrang bilis kasi ng mga pangyayari.” I replied in defence. “Kailan ba yan para ma file ko na ang VL ko.”

“Chinese Lunar New Year... like Singapore last year.”

“Ah okay. Sige! File ko na yan.”

Since I found out that I am officially going abroad for a vacation, I tried not to think about it much. I guess my mind wasn't really into it. A month later, I paid for the tickets. This is the first time I entertained the thought that I am really travelling again but still I refuse to entertain any thought of it. I didn't let it go to my head. As a result, my life moved on per usual.

I know that I am going to enjoy this trip and spending another vacation with my friend has always been a blast but since a lot has happened in my life, I have built a wall around me to protect myself from not getting hurt. The trade-off though is I don’t easily get excited about new stuff as I have learned to prepare but not expect too much until the last minute.

4 hours before my flight, I started packing things. 4 shirts, 1 long sleeve, 2 sando, 4 shorts, 1 jeans, a pair of socks and a week’s worth of underwear. I put all my toiletries in a handy bag and throw it inside my bag too. An hour later, I left the house. I shot a group message to everyone who is coming doing some sort of a cyber roll call. As expected, everyone replied and all on their way to the airport.

It’s fun to travel during the wee morning. EDSA traffic couldn't get any lighter. We breezed through the road and passed SM North EDSA, then SM Mega Mall, then Ayala, then Resorts World. I arrived at the departure area of the Airport in great time.

And as I step off the cab and wheeled my way into the new International Airport. A sudden rush of feeling crept through my veins. I realized this is really happening.

Now I’m genuinely excited.