Maybe

I have spent precious moments thinking over a proposition given by my friends. It was laid over the table 3 weeks ago by JR, one of my closest friends and confidant backed up by LJ, another close pal that I haven't seen for ages.

Now I’m inside the comforts of my four corners, staring at the ceiling and still thinking whether I will accept the offer or not.

"We want you in." LJ explained one fine day at the newly built Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf Coffee shop at Shangri-La. "We got everything taken care off dude! Just buy the ticket now…”

Then the inevitable…

"…If you want, I'll get your Mavié's permission myself so that you can come with us..."

Mavié.

I haven't heard nor blurted out that name for a while. The word still ring in my ears and still stabs my heart. I die a little every time I hear that French word that we affectionately chose to be our term of endearment. I can hear the name echo in the chasms of my memory. It’s resonance literally squeezing the life out of me.

LJ has gone out of the circulation that he doesn't know what has been in the headline recently… clearly, the news of me gone free agent again hasn’t reached his ears.

And obviously, JR didn't say a thing.

"You need this." JR calmly shared as he took a swag of his cold frap.

It's been a while since I went out of the country. The last time I went abroad, I've gone stateside visiting Arizona and Hollywood. That was before I met him.

For a while I’ve been doing a lot of stuff to forget him. Maybe that’s the issue. I’m still doing things for him. Even the things that I think will make me forget him has been done with him in consideration. Maybe I’m doing things for all the wrong reasons.

So now, this time, I’m accepting my friends proposal. Not for him nor anybody else.

I’m doing this to be happy. I’m doing this for me.

I turned over and grabbed my laptop at the bed side table and turned it on. With a few words pressed on the slick, black keyboard and a few clicks with my small, Genius mouse, I went online, booked the flight and shoot JR and LJ a text message.

Singapore, Malaysia and Indonesia, here I come!!!

I hope this time, it’ll be different.