Sunday, November 20, 2011

In Time

"Hi”

A voice said to me. I turned and looked at the cute boy and I smiled, not knowing how to respond.

"Do you mind if I stay here with you?” he requested. “Only until the rain stops.”

I nodded as I looked away trying to dry my eyes with my hanky as quick as I can. When I was ready, I turned back and gave him the most sincere smile that I can conjure.

“Nathan” He said raising his hand for a handshake.

“Silvan” I replied accepting his offer.

“Woah! What a downpour!” He commented as the light drizzle angers to a heavy shower.

It was my first time going back to Malate after we broke up. Like before, it was an invite from my friends that prompted me to go. It’s been months since we parted ways and thanks to my trusted buddies, I finally broke the shell of depression.

Finally, I’m starting to pick up and patch things up in my shattered life. However, the moment I saw that place, that small ministore, I just can’t help stopping where we first found each other. It’s white wall was pulling me, beckoning like a magnet only to facilitate a yearning I’m trying hard to bury deep. Like the make shift tarpaulin shade tied to the tree and the lamp post, I'm still bound to this place. The sudden turn in the weather didn’t helped either.

That's the problem with wounds that hasn't fully healed yet. It gives you the illusion that you are but will easily tear open with the slightest trauma.

That moment I thought I should have stayed at home and read a book or watch a film. I could have avoided these places remembering the times but that would just convey loneliness and that was something that I was trying very hard to avoid also.

"Here with friends?" the guy asked obviously trying to break the cold atmosphere and I don’t mean the weather.

“Yes”
“Me too! I’m late though.”  

“So am I” I thought while reading the SMS I just got received from my friend asking where I am.

“Where are you going?” He asked knowingly as he popped a cigarette and offered one.

“No thanks. I don’t smoke” Again, I tried my best to smile. “My friends are waiting for me at Bed.

“Oh I see!” He was surprised. “Judging from the way you look and talk, I wouldn’t know that you are gay.”

“Uhmmmm…. Thanks?” I replied quizzicaly.

“I’m sorry. I don’t mean to offend you. It was a compliment.”

“No offense taken.” I said softly.

Now it was his turn to smile.

"I hope you don’t mind me asking. Is anything wrong?" He asked cautious as he puffed the last of the stick in his hand. "Are you all right?"

I watch the clouds squeezes the last of his night shower. It took me a while to respond but I nodded. "I'm just remembering what was and will never be again."

"A broken heart? Sad, but time will heal it. You'll see." He smiled. “ Nice meeting you Silvan. See you around.”
I watch Nathan walk away towards the faint sound of the Malate night life leaving me with Mavié and our good times in my mind. "Yes, a broken heart, and maybe time will heal it."

2 comments:

  1. Silvan, kamusta? I really love your "after break up" stories. I suppose if I were to be honest, it reminds me of the time I lost one of the biggest loves of my life.

    I understand you. The horror, the pain, the loneliness. But Nathan is right. You'll see.

    Kane

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