Sometimes

We think happiness is always tied to getting things; getting the job we want, the car we want, the shoes we want or the person we like. We think we will be happy once we get certain things and we want to have them right away.

But the more things didn’t work out for me, the more I realized that happiness can be found in losing things instead of having them, that sometimes, I could want what might potentially destroy me.

Sometimes, happiness is found in letting things go; when you don’t fight too hard, when you don’t obsess over things you can’t control and when you don’t try to change something that is fixed or something that will not be adjusted according to your own frame of expectations.

Sometimes, happiness is found in losing people you loved, because you don’t have to feel like you’re the one who cares more or you’re the one who is more invested or you’re the one who keeps bending and breaking to keep things going.

Sometimes, happiness comes from short-term sadness.

Sometimes, happiness is found in getting what you were resisting, because you learn that you can survive and you learn to battle your fears and conquer your doubts. Sometimes you get opposite of what you prayed for so you can change your direction, change your path and change your life.

Sometimes, happiness is found in confusion, when you try to be grateful for the few things that are going right, when you try to laugh amidst the irony of it all and when you learn to enjoy the simple moments that you used to take for granted when everything was going right.

Sometimes, happiness comes when we’ve lost all hope and set ourselves free from the rules we inflicted on ourselves and all the plans we made.

Sometimes, happiness is found when you cease to look for it, when you stop trying to gain things to make you feel whole, when you stop running after those who were not able to love you, when you stop putting too much pressure on controlling your fate or controlling your future and when you stop expecting happiness to manifest itself to you exactly the way you want it.

Sometimes, happiness is found when everything you wanted gets taken away from you.

And sometimes happiness is found when you set it free, when you don’t tie it to things or people, when you let it bestow its gift upon you at the right time.

Happiness comes when you stop caring about what’s happening around you and start caring about what’s happening inside you.

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Back to School

Paul was entering his new school.

At 15, he was one year younger than his batch mates who’s beginning the 9th grade on the new K-12 system. He didn't really know what to expect. He was worried, as all transfer students do, that as a fresh meat, he would be completely bullied. On the other hand, he was excited as this was going to be a new experience for him. He was both frightened and thrilled at the same time.  

However, when he entered the campus he was completely ignored. He never felt so low. On his classes, some of the teachers introduced him as a new student.

Most didn't.

Being introduced though, didn't help anyway, he was still ignored. A couple of guys spoke a little during recess but that was about it. The gang of misfit looking seniors that looked at him on the corridor even made him feel worse as they grinned and made comments to each other afterwards.

Paul thought of himself during lunch break. He was 5 feet 6 inches tall weighing at a little over 100 lbs. A bit average for his age but compared to his batch mates, whose one year older, he was a skinny midget. He went home on his first day of school sad. His self-esteem, on an all-time low.

Two weeks later, things was starting to change for the better when those two guys that talked to him on his first day, talked to him again during PE when they tried to get him involved in school life. Will was just as tall as him only sportier with a smile that’s to die for. Jason, on the other hand, was taller. He was way above average in looks and in everything else. They made sure Paul was with them at lunch time and before and after school.

Then they invited him to a sleep over. Will’s parents were going out of town for the weekend. So it was going to be from Friday afternoon until sometime Sunday. They told him they were having some friends over on Saturday night. He was really excited about being included.

It seemed like forever before Friday arrived. Paul could not believe how excited he was. He had grown really close to his two new friends. They talked about everything except sex. He thought it a little odd but he didn't say anything. He discreetly watched both of them in the shower after PE. The first thing he had noticed was that they have hot bodies. And Will, though bit shorter than Jason sported a huge package.

Friday finally came and as soon as the final bell signaled the end of the day, they were out the door straight to Will’s house. All three went straight to the kitchen and hit the fridge. Will produced 3 ice cold bottles of sodas and some munchies. Then they sat at the counter drank and ate and drank some more. Then they retired to the living room and watch Anime re-runs. As they sat in there Paul noticed that his new friends kept looking at each other. He knew something was up but he didn't know what. He just completely ignored them and played along with their little game.

Then Jason said, "We've got some personal hygiene to take care of this afternoon and we'd like you to join us."

Paul looked at both of them and was really puzzled.

Personal hygiene? Want him to help? What was this all about?

  

"I don't understand." Paul asked.

Will replied, "We need to trim our pubes to get ready for tomorrow night and we want to shave yours too."

Now he saw the picture. "But I don't trim mine. I like it the way it is." Paul declared.

"Well new dear friend, you look gross with all that hair in your crotch." Jason said before standing up in front of Will and Paul and suggested. “Let’s get started."

They went up to Will’s room and Paul watched as his two new friends started striping their clothes off in front of him. They kept pushing each other and kind of fooling around. Their dicks dangling freely. Then when both of them fell on the bed, Jason grabbed Will and wrapped his lean arms around him in a big hug and kissed him right on the mouth.

Paul watched in shock as Jason and Will’s kiss lasted sometime and while they were kissing they were grinding their pelvises at each other and really starting to make out. Their cock, hard as a rock, fencing. When they finally noticed him standing in shock. Paul already has sported a tent on his pants. Then they asked him over to them which Paul slowly complied. They sat on each side of him on the bed.

Without asking or saying anything Paul’s clothes rapidly left his body and there he was, nude like they were.

“I told you he was hot!” Jason said to Will.

Will grinned before standing up and went for some drinks leaving Jason and Paul on the bedroom together. He put his hand on Paul’s face and ran his finger around his cheeks.

Then down his throat and finally ended up tweaking his nipples. Will entered with a tray and handed out a can of pop. They all just sat there naked looking at each other. Paul was the only one that didn't know what was happening next. Jason started the conversation by asking, "Have you ever kissed a boy?"

"Me and my cousin fooled around." Paul answered.

"Did you let him jerked you off?"

"Yes," He replied.

"Have you ever made out with him?"

Paul thought for several minutes about what to do next. The truth is, he and his cousin have been fooling around every summer when he would take a vacation and stay with his relatives in the province or when there’s a family occasion that will cause his cousin to stay overnight and sleep in his room.

Finally he said. "Yes I made out with my cousin. In fact, I've done just about everything with him.”

Jason and Will looked utterly stunned. Their mouths were open and they were unable to speak. Paul sort of smiled and asked.

"Do you want me to continue?"

"Yes," they said in unison.

"I was 12 when I first saw my cousin’s hard cock and before that summer was over, I stroked it and sucked it and tasted the cum that shot out of it. I was 12 and he was 15.”

“One day, we were just horsing around in his room just like you guys a while ago until we fell in the bed and felt his raging hard on top of mine.” Paul continued.

“By the time that we went out of his room for dinner, we kissed, jerked each other off and cummed in each other’s hands.”

“One week later while playing in the farm, my cousin asked me to stroke his cock for him. This was my cousin and my best friend, I would do anything he asked. I slowly took hold of his meat. His cock felt so hot and hard in my hand but the skin was so soft. I could feel a reaction as I pumped up and down with my hand.  After stroking him for a while, he asked me if I would lick the end of it.”

“I mean I had no idea that what he was asking me to do was give him a blow job.” Paul continued. “But I licked it and then he put his hand on the back of my head and forced my mouth down on his dick. I would guess it was about 6 inches and I gagged and choked but he told me what to do until believe it or not, I was able to take it all down my throat. It was a very short time before he shot his load in my mouth. He told me to swallow it so I did. I kind of liked the taste.”

Paul took a drink of his soda and swallowed hard. He noticed that Will and Jason’s cock was hard again.

So was he.  

"Guess the trim will have to wait until tomorrow." Jason grinned. 

"I guess it will," Will replied before grabbing Paul’s hard cock while Jason leaned over and kissed Paul.

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Military Closet

The marriage had been a mistake of course. 

In a country where the majority of the country is Roman Catholic, Philippines is the only nation left in the world (except for Vatican City) who hasn't legalized divorce. Sebastian knew that fact but he married her anyway as she told him she was pregnant years ago.

Now, years later, they have accepted the fact that both of them won't find happiness and that "ever after" together. She cried. She knew he was right. 

She moved to the bedside table, removing the pages after pages of emails she had printed when he forgot to logout one time on the home computer.

He recognized them immediately. He had written, some of his friends still in the service. Of course he had written in such a way that nobody could say they were letters between two gay men. But if anyone with any intelligence read them carefully, they could see the bond of friendship between two former military buddies was intense.

"I've known for awhile, maybe before we got married" she said staring at the letters.

His body was not only shaking then but beginning to panic. How did she know? He wasn't even sure. He had known her since high school. A varsity player of the basketball team, he was considered prime dating material. And they did. The year after high school, he was lost, not sure whether he should go to college or sign up for the military academy.

"Francis." She said and answered his unasked question.

Francis was one of his high school friends and team mate. They spent the whole summer together going to different places before moving forward with their life. Then one late night their wrestling on the sand in the night turned into something more. Both let it happen. They kissed and felt each other's excitement.

They didn't talk much letting their bodies dictate what was in their heads. And that summer seemed to pass faster and faster while they explored activities they dared not talk about.

When Sebastian's father decided made up his mind for him, he knew couldn't do nothing but to follow. Francis didn't help as he grew moody knowing the future was swiftly overtaking him.

His note made Sebastian mad and then cry.

"I had to split before my parents made me join the Military too. I'm going to Davao, hope you can come."

Sebastian signed the papers taking him to the Military Academy up north. The concept of stuffing his clothing into a backpack and following Francis just seemed to wild, too unknown and he wasn't ready to define himself as who he knew he was.

She sighed heavily and said they could see a lawyer together. Their only option now is annulment. She wanted to go home to her parents. 

And then she grabbed her bag and left.

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