Angel: The first sighting

I met an angel mid-November four or five years ago.

I was freakin’ hungry so I decided to eat at my fave “carinderia” somewhere in Espana near UST. Naka patay gutom  mode ako noon. Who wouldn’t be after four hours of humpin’ and grindin’ sa bahay landian. Yes! Those were the days when my libido was enough to fill the Grand Canyon.

Needless to say, isang masibagong palakpakan ang ibibigay mo sa akin nung gabing yun dahil sa sik-sik, lig-lig, at umaapaw kong “booking”. ‘Sing haba ng EDSA ang buhok ko nung gabing yun dahil sa dami ng naka boom-boom ko... but that adventure is another story. Anyway, enough of how major-major slutty I was that night.

After my breakfast con dead-hunger, I walked home. And as I turn left to Morayta en route to Recto then home, there he was, walking on the other side of the street, treading the same direction.

The first thing that I noticed from afar, is that he is not tall... which is a plus for me (and by this time, I’m praying he is a “PLUS” too!) since I’m into the twink/ boylet type. Later on, I would find out that his vertical challenge is not the only thing that will make me fall for him.

We were now walking towards C.M. Recto. The only difference was we were walking across each other and he was walking a little tipsy and a little slow. That didn’t stop me from stealing glances at him though and apparently, to my delight, so did he. Halfway down the street, I walked double time at dahil “long legged” ako, nakatawid ako just in time to meet him.

And just like that, si Dr Jekyll na galing sa bahay landian for four hours ay naging si Mr Horny Hyde again.

My heart skipped a beat when we met. Para siyang angel up close. Matangos ang ilong niya. He has eyes that can break your defences and melt your soul, meron siyang mapula at very kissable na lips and a wavy hair which was set in a wash and wear, almost dishelved style. In front of me, standing, was the love child of Paolo Ballesteros and Richard Gutierrez.

God! He got me totally breathless!

At dahil mestizo siya, medyo mapula ang complexion niya that time. The reason? Nakainom siya that night which explains why he was walking in slight disarray.

I don’t want to take advantage of this tipsy twink beau in front me but I got worried, so I asked him if he wanna rest and talked for a while and maybe a cup of coffee or a hot breakfast to boot. In short, I got very horny and I want to get him in bed!

I felt a tingle of excitement down my crotch when he accepted my offer. He then asked me where we are going. I hesitated to answer. I know my next choice of words will make or break my night (or morning). I’m not sure if this angel is also a fairy cause he certainly acts, talks and moves like he was straight as an arrow, meaning, wala siyang bahid ng kabadingan. But I took my chances so I asked him if its alright if we can rest on a motel nearby.

Oh Shit! I thought. My slightly indecent proposal was followed by an awkward silence and he is fuckin’ staring at me. Mukhang straight si angel. I thoughy, I got to apologize real quick but then, just before I was about to and explain myself, he nodded and replied, “Saan?” My heart almost jumped out of my chest. I met an angel on the street and just agreed to go to bed with me.

Of course, kahit na parang isang bata ako na binigyan ng kendi sa tuwa, I still kept my composure. I played it cool. So from the corner of Morayta and Recto, we walked to a nearby cheap motel and while we did, I put my arm in his shoulder while exchanging pleasantries with the normal pre-hookup FAQ’s to break the ice before the inevitable boom-boom.  (to be continued)

A Carrot, an Egg & a Cup of Coffee

I think everyone needs a mantra. I have one. It helps me keep my composure whenever I am stressed or upset or disappointed and so much in need of a repeated prayer. 

"I refuse to be stressed!"

That used to be my sacred verbal formula but now, thanks to a "Motivational Minute" emailed to me last month, here's my new one:

"I'm a coffee bean!"

Here's the reason why.

A Carrot, an Egg & a Cup of Coffee

Author: Unknown

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up.  She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose.

Her mother took her to the kitchen where she filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil; without saying a word.

In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl.  Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her daughter, she asked, “Tell me what you see.” “Carrots, eggs, and coffee,” she replied.

Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it... After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard-boiled egg.  Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled, as she tasted its rich aroma the daughter then asked, “What does it mean, mother?”

Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity: boiling water. Each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its insides became hardened. The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.

“Which are you?” she asked her daughter. “When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?

Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart?

Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you. When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest, do you elevate yourself to another level? How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human and enough hope to make you happy.

Valentine's Day - Homemade Style

I had all my plans laid out to make our first valentine’s day unforgettable: watch “Tangled”, then dinner at a Serendra Resto famous for their steak, Mamou’s.

I have never been in that resto but the place came highly recommended (My boss and a friend who works there)... I heard the steak there is so tender that you can actually cut the meat using your spoon. It came highly priced as well as the cheapest steak dinner (main course) is worth 1500.00/plate.

We always talked about having a dinner where we can dress nice, sit down and eat a good three course meal. I thought, our first day of hearts could have been the best occasion to do this. I never thought that this plan not pushing through was a blessing in disguise.

It all started Saturday night when I picked Mavie up after work. He met me with a shivering body and unusually tired eyes. I knew there's something wrong.

When I held Mavie’s cheek in both my hands and felt his unusual temperature seep through my palms, I knew our dream dinner date is not going to happen. I spent the night at his place more worried for Mavie than the cancelled dinner. The whole night, I can feel his slight twitching of coldness even under the warm sheet. I hugged him tight all night barely sleeping.

The morning after promised a new day and a better, sick-free Mavie. I woke up with the sweet smell and sizzling sound of cooking bacon. I opened my eyes and watched him cook for a while discreetly admiring his culinary skills as porkstrips gets crisper by the second. After a while, I stood up, slowly approached him and from the back, gave him a peck in the neck and hugged him. Thank God his fever is gone.

After the hearty breakfast, we spent the day watching movie and had an afternoon stroll to Sta Ana church. At the church, we lighted 2 pink candles (pink candles were supposedly for wishes of love and good health) with a prayer of thanks and wishes for a more love-filled future.

The day was nothing flamboyant than I had planned but it was special. We have each other the whole day.

We could have gone out that night and pushed through with our dinner but I don’t wanna risk him being sick again. I unwillingly went home that night with warm nostalgia of the whole day.

I went back the next day carrying my stuff for my Monday shift (11:00 PM – 8:30 AM) and a triple chocolate cake to celebrate for first Valentine’s Day.

We cooked pasta together, ordered pizza and watched some more DVD’s. Yes! We had our three course dinner meal after all. He even packed some pasta, pizza and cakes for me to take to work. It’s no Mamou’s alright but the fun and joy of making Valentine’s Day our own is priceless.

We were together the whole V-day weekend and thats what matters most.

And when his dad asked me earlier that day, “Valentine’s na. Saan kayo magde-date?”, that’s all I needed to make this year’s Valentine’s Day unforgettable.

The Reason Why

Mavie and I never had a song. We tried deciding on one but we just ended up with a playlist of songs that is good to listen to. After that, we just agreed not to pick one and let fate decide. “Eventually, it will come to us.” Mavie said.

Now, were 7 going on 8 months and still the wretched song is nowhere in sight. I’m beginning to think that we will never have a song that will remind us of our love and affection for each other.

Enter Chester with his and his ex’s theme song.

Last week, after our ears bled from listening to live calls (a change from the usual nose bleeding), we decided to take a breather and do the thing that help us keep our sanity at work... read blogs while listening to WROCK via e-Radio Portal.

I didn’t really paid attention on the song that was playing on the cyber air because I was so into the blog series that I was (thanks to Aris literary skills) when Chester hit me on my shoulder and exclaimed. “Dude, this is a good one!”

I listened intently to the song being played with an aching shoulder. It’s a song I never heard before… or a song that I heard before but never bother to keep in my musical cornucopia.

And I understand why.

Like most of the songs I listened to, I do a judge-the-book-by-its-cover approach before it becomes a part of my cerebral jukebox. So, if it doesn’t sound good to me or the beat is not my cup of tea, then it will just goes down the drain and into my sound sewer, forgotten forever.

That’s what I’m planning to do to the song my friend was so excited to share to me. Apparently, it’s his and his ex’s theme song.

I didn’t like it. To me, the tone is off; it’s kinda boring and very forgettable.

I was already thinking about how to say that the song sucks big time when Chester explained why he likes the song. “The lyrics are great!” He said.

I googled the lyrics of the song and went straight to the chorus.

You’re the reason why

I listen in the night

And steal the softest kisses while you sleep

You’re the reason why

Tears will fill my eyes

Just looking at a photograph of you

I gotta admit my friend is correct. The lyrics was something you can share to your love one. It made me think twice about the song going down the drain now. But overall, the song still sucks to me.

A couple of days after, I’m almost done downloading songs Mavie requested when out of the blue, I remembered the chorus of the song. I search for the song in youtube, downloaded it and converted the clip to an mp3 that I can then upload to my iPod. Why i did it? I don't know myself.

Fast forward to last Sunday.

My friends and I went out to celebrate the birthday of a friend (who didn’t show up!). Mavie was on a 3:00 to 11:00 shift so he apologetically assured everyone that he will join us after work.

We went to Malate after a dinner in MOA, had a few beers in one of the comedy bars there and went to O Bar.

Mavie arrived way past midnight. Malate is awfully quiet on a Sunday and that Sunday was no different. I went out of the bar to meet him. We decided that there’s no point in going into the bar (entrance fee: 150 Php, Consumable) if we are going to stay for just an hour or 2.

We sat on one of the circular, good for 2, tables outside O bar and had a few talks and a lot of laughs. I brought out my iPod and gave him my Nike sports headset. It’s my third headset already since I broke the original headset and the second one that I bought for my laptop. I haven’t bought a new one so for the mean time, i’m using my “working out” headset (which is already busted as well. Huhuhu!)

I happily explained that I have downloaded a couple of songs for him while quickly tapping on the iPod touch screen straight to the “recently added” icon and played the first one.

I immediately saw a reaction on his face. It was priceless.

I know he loves the song and I happily watched as he closed his eyes, smiled and swayed his head (which I assume to the tune of the song he is listening to). After a little over 2 minutes, he grabbed my arms and grinned like a child. “Do you have the opening song?” He asked with his beautiful puppy eyes.

I wanna tease him and say “I don’t have it” but looking at him like that and hearing him appreciate the songs I downloaded for him was way too much for me to resist so I played the opening song of an old popular TV series that started it all, Bioman.

And just like that, I fell in love with him again.

I still have 2 tickets well enough for 2 drinks (included in the O-Bar entrance fee) so instead of getting beer, I’ll get non-alcoholic beverages. After a few minutes with pineapple juice on each hand, I sat back and saw Mavie with a serious look on his face. I asked Mavie what song he is listening to and he answered, “I don’t know but I think I found our song.” I look at the iPod and “The Reason Why” by John Farnham was playing.

I couldn’t believe it! How can we make it our song when I didn’t even like it? Sure the lyrics are great but there’s more to a song than the lyrics. I didn’t even know why I downloaded the song in the first place.

We went home leaving our friends in the bar and carrying the thought of a song that is not to my liking.

While walking to where we will ride a jeep home, Mavie put his arms around, kissed me and whispered, “I love you so much!”

I was surprised. The last time we had shown our affection in public was in a color coded party last November at the corner of the same street and Maria Orosa. We were just holding hands. Normally, I would roll my eyes, shrugged my shoulders and cried “Not in public Mavie!”

It has been an unspoken rule not to publicly display our affection to each other… not anymore.

He’s the reason why I told sister im gay. He’s the reason why I “came out” at the office. He’s the reason why I don’t care what people think if they had seen us kissing that night. In fact, he’s the reason why I would want people to see us kissing.

I smiled a little, hold his arms and answered back, “I love you more!”

I guess the song might grow on me after all.

The Truth about Growing Up and Fairy Tales

 You know how when you were a little kid and you believed in fairy tales?

That fantasy of what your life would be: white dress, prince charming who would carry you away to a castle on a hill.

You would lie in bed at night and close your eyes and you had complete and utter faith.

Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, Prince Charming, they were so close you could taste them, but eventually you grow up, one day you open your eyes and the fairy tale disappears.

Most people turn to the things and people they can trust.

But the thing is, its hard to let go of that fairy tale entirely cause almost everyone has that smallest bit of hope, of faith, that one day they will open their eyes and it will come true.