Hey!

Hey! 

Hey!

Hey!


Heypi Berthdey! To yey!

One year old ka na Hachiko! I hope I have a blue fairy para ma wish ko na maging totoong husky ka na.

And of course Happy Birthday to you to Baby Jesus.

It's safe to say that you read blogs up there. So here is my Christmas wish taken from the book that inspired the world to celebrate your greatness everyday.

Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.

- Ephesians 4:31

Quickie

It was 4:45 AM.

I stepped outside into the chilly night air for my final 15 minute break. I fingered the zipper of my jacket and zipped myself up to the collar to keep the coldness off the back of my neck. 

Christmas is indeed just around the corner and knowing how crazy we Filipinos are in this season, myriads of Christmas decors covered the whole metro. From where I was standing, I can see a very Filipino, colourful and twinkling "parol" on the lamp post at the corner of a street twenty-five feet away.

I lit up a cigarette. I inhaled the smoke deeply and held it briefly and released it. I watch as the fume rise and thin out into oblivion. I’m fairly new in the smoking business... a month old to be exact. 

I sucked in another warm drag of smoke, tilted my head back, and offered the incense to the gods of the night. I looked into the blackness of the cloudless heavens and beheld the icy brilliance of millions of stars, usually not seen in a more polluted sky. I closed my eyes and drifted that I didn't even realize that a car had stopped in front of me.

The window rolled down and he smiled. "Trip?" I can't get the vision of his beautiful eyes, his charming smile, out of my head even now.

I nodded. 

He smiled again and unlocked the door on the passenger's side and speed away as soon as I closed the door. “We have to do this real quick cause I have to be at some place by 7:00.” He declared in a perfect neutrally accented American English.

15 minutes later we’re driving in a motel somewhere in Pasig.

Upon arriving, and waiting to be shown to our room I examined the guy who picked me up. He looked like a man in his late thirties or early forties. He was wearing eyeglasses (one of my turn on). He had the perfect skin tone. He had a deep set eyes and a perfect set of lips to die for. Based on how well he filled his shirt (not to mention his pants) I can tell that he religiously works out. There’s the slightest evidence of receding hairline but who cares? With his inherent hotness, that kind of genetic monstrosity is very forgivable.!  

We went inside the room and sat at the foot of the bed. 

He glanced at me; I at him. Something stirred in my chest (and my crotch) and before I knew it, we are already kissing each other. He was a great kisser, very gentle and yet rough around the edges. I unbuttoned his shirt while he tried to remove mine. We kissed for what seemed like forever.

“Are you top or bottom?” He asked as he removes his shoes. 

“Versa” I replied as I remove mine.

“You’re a bottom. Great!” He said as he stood up in front of me revealing his six packs. “I gotta warn you. I’m a rough fucker!”

“I like it rough... but not without a condom.” 

“Even hotter, now suck!” He commanded as he unzipped his pants exposing his white underwear already wet with precum. I got rid of it too and boy was I surprised!

He had a very beautiful dick... uncut dick. I run my hand up and down his shaft. It was around 6 or 7 inches long and a mouthful wide.

I sucked him fiercely. He moaned as I sucked on it harder. That set him off. He fucked my mouth hard and rough till I gagged. He wasn’t kidding when he said he was a rough fucker.

He then pulled away and pushed me on the bed. He lay me down and didn’t waste time unbuckling me. He turned me over as soon as he got my pants off and hovered above me for a while. He then spread my cheeks and pushed his cock into my ass. I gripped on to the blankets and pillows as he pushed in deeper, inch by inch until he was in.

And then he started the assault on my ass. He fucked me with no mercy almost ripping my ass walls out. It was painful and deliciously mind blowing at the same time. I push in and out, making my own rhythm. He sighed close to my ear, and then let out a moan. “Yes,” He whispered. He wanted it. 

He raised my ass into a doggie position and bent over. “You want me to stop? Just say the word”. I didn’t make a sound and then he pounded harder. Now it’s my time to moan. I started to match his thrusts. The moan of ecstasy became a duet as he reached down and caresses my hard cock until I cummed. Not soon after, he digs his nails into my back and pushed in hard until finally, he released his hot man juice. 

He drove me back to my office building but I knew we'll never meet again.

I took my cigarette pack in my back pocket and lighted another stick. The noise of silence assaulted my inner-ears, there on the front steps in the cold morning air. I was hearing my own heartbeat, my own pulse. I took another drag and then extinguished the burning tobacco.

Which I decided to be my last.

How "X-Men: First Class" should've Ended

“Today our fighting stops!” shouted Erik as he exited the land trapped submarine. He floated over the beach, parading the dead body of Hell’s Club leader Aidan Shaw. “Take off your blinders my brothers and sisters. The real enemy is out there.”

Charles couldn’t believe what Erik did inside the submarine. He can still feel the pain as the Nazi coin went in and out of Shaw’s head magnetically controlled by Erik. He tried to stop his best friend and companion however, he is now wearing the helmet Shaw invented to stop mind readers from entering his mind.

“I can feel their guns moving in the water their metal targeting us. Americans, Soviets, humans united in their fear of the unknown. They are running scared my fellow mutants!!!” Eric continued now walking towards Charles. “Go ahead Charles. Tell me I’m wrong.”

Charles probed into the consciousness of all the military ships floating in the salty waters in front of them praying and hoping that what Erik has just said was a lie. American agent, Moira MacTaggert watched in horror as he saw the confirmation in Charles eyes along with creaking of the ship’s heavy artillery, their cannons pointing at the shore in unison.

In a final attempt to stop the bombardment of the island, MacTaggert attempted desperately to contact the Americans but it’s too late. The order has been given.  

Fearing the mutants, both American and Russian fleets fired at the island. Mutants, from both sides, gazed in terror as the blue sky was blocked by missiles of all shapes and sizes all aimed to destroy them.

But just before the missile reached the bay, Eric raised his hands and stopped all the missiles in mid air. American and Soviet soldiers gazed in disbelief as all of their missiles failed to destroy the mutants. And now, with a turn of a hand, Lensherr changed the course of the rockets.

Charles knew what his bestfriend intends to do even without reading his mind.

“Erik, you said yourself we are the better men... this is the time to prove it” Charles reminded Erik. “There are thousands of men on those ships. They are honest, innocent men. They are just following orders.”

“I’ve been in the mercy of men who are just following orders...” Erik answered. “…never again.”

With that, Erik sent the missiles back to where it came from. In a desperate move, Charles tried to break Erik’s concentration by physically overpowering him. “Erik, stop!”

In the struggle, Xavier momentarily stopped Erik from destroying the fleets but it did not held up long enough. Erik regained power over the missiles.

Wanting to help, Moira pointed the gun and fires at Erik. Erik cunningly deflected the bullets using his control over metal however, one repelled shell unexpectedly hits Charles in the spine.

Erik watch in horror as Charles screamed in pain holding his lower back where the stray bullet had hit him. Charles dropped like a dead weight in the sand. Erick ran at his bestfriend’s side and using his gift, pulled the bullet out of Charles’ spine.

More concerned on his bestfriend’s current situation, Erik losses control over the missiles saving both the American and Russian fleet. The men on the ships rejoiced as they watch the missiles exploded in the sky or blow up at the open sea.

“I’m so sorry!” Erik said as he held Charles in his arms.

"You, you did this.” Erik accused Moira as he tighten the metal necklace around her neck.

On the arms of his bestfriend and with tears in his eyes, Charles raised his hand and gently touched his bestfriend’s face. “She did not do this Erik, you did.”

“I tried to warn you Charles!” Erik exclaimed with tears falling from his eyes.

“I want you by my side. I love you. We are more than best friends you and I. I know you can feel it too. Both of us, together… protecting each other and them. We want the same thing.” Erik pronounced. “Stay with me Charles. I love you!”

With that said, Erik passionately kissed Charles.

“I love you too Erik!!! But we do not want the same thing.”

Erik, remorseful and heartbroken, leaves with Mystique, Angel, Riptide and Azazel.

EPILOGUE:

A wheelchair-bound Charles Xavier and the mutants return to the mansion, where he intends to open a school. Moira MacTaggert promises to never reveal his location and as they kiss, Xavier wiped out her memory of recent events; at the CIA later, she says she has no clear memory of recent events.

Meanwhile, in a high security facility, a band of mutants, lead by Erik Lensher breaks Emma Frost from confinement. 

Haiku vol.1

In Time

"Hi”

A voice said to me. I turned and looked at the cute boy and I smiled, not knowing how to respond.

"Do you mind if I stay here with you?” he requested. “Only until the rain stops.”

I nodded as I looked away trying to dry my eyes with my hanky as quick as I can. When I was ready, I turned back and gave him the most sincere smile that I can conjure.

“Nathan” He said raising his hand for a handshake.

“Silvan” I replied accepting his offer.

“Woah! What a downpour!” He commented as the light drizzle angers to a heavy shower.

It was my first time going back to Malate after we broke up. Like before, it was an invite from my friends that prompted me to go. It’s been months since we parted ways and thanks to my trusted buddies, I finally broke the shell of depression.

Finally, I’m starting to pick up and patch things up in my shattered life. However, the moment I saw that place, that small ministore, I just can’t help stopping where we first found each other. It’s white wall was pulling me, beckoning like a magnet only to facilitate a yearning I’m trying hard to bury deep. Like the make shift tarpaulin shade tied to the tree and the lamp post, I'm still bound to this place. The sudden turn in the weather didn’t helped either.

That's the problem with wounds that hasn't fully healed yet. It gives you the illusion that you are but will easily tear open with the slightest trauma.

That moment I thought I should have stayed at home and read a book or watch a film. I could have avoided these places remembering the times but that would just convey loneliness and that was something that I was trying very hard to avoid also.

"Here with friends?" the guy asked obviously trying to break the cold atmosphere and I don’t mean the weather.

“Yes”

“Me too! I’m late though.”  

“So am I” I thought while reading the SMS I just got received from my friend asking where I am.

“Where are you going?” He asked knowingly as he popped a cigarette and offered one.

“No thanks. I don’t smoke” Again, I tried my best to smile. “My friends are waiting for me at Bed.

“Oh I see!” He was surprised. “Judging from the way you look and talk, I wouldn’t know that you are gay.”

“Uhmmmm…. Thanks?” I replied quizzicaly.

“I’m sorry. I don’t mean to offend you. It was a compliment.”

“No offense taken.” I said softly.

Now it was his turn to smile.

"I hope you don’t mind me asking. Is anything wrong?" He asked cautious as he puffed the last of the stick in his hand. "Are you all right?"

I watch the clouds squeezes the last of his night shower. It took me a while to respond but I nodded. "I'm just remembering what was and will never be again."

"A broken heart? Sad, but time will heal it. You'll see." He smiled. “ Nice meeting you Silvan. See you around.”

I watch Nathan walk away towards the faint sound of the Malate night life leaving me with Mavié and our good times in my mind. "Yes, a broken heart, and maybe time will heal it."

Fire!!!

I haven't been asleep for more than an hour when I heard my mom knocked at my door literally bashing my door open.

"Anak may sunog! Get your stuff out of the house!"

I leaped out of my bed half irritated, half dazed. Dragging my feet all day at work, I went straight home today to buy myself some extra forty winks by skipping my after-shift work out. This is the day I chose to lay myself down in my bed hugging my fluffy pillows instead of stretching out on the gym bench pumping iron and here I am in my room, half naked and fully awoken by my mom.

I grabbed an undershirt, my wallet, phone and packed my laptop and my barely used SLR camera in my bag brought it downstairs along with my case of personal documents. I figured that’s all I need in case our house is literally on the line of fire within minutes.

I went downstairs leaping every other step, dropped my stuff in the sofa and went outside and checked where exactly the domicile bonfire was.

At first, it looks far from our house. Upon closer inspection though, I realized that our house might be reached by the blaze within hours. I went back inside our house and wore a short. Yes! I went outside in a sleeveless shirt and boxers. These are one of the rare occasion where you can justify wearing undergarments out in the street. I played the hot guy in sleeveless and boxers who went outside confused by the ruckus around him. LOL!!!

I ask my mom and my sister with my 6 month old niece to go and stay at a family friend living two blocks away from our house while I stayed just in case opportunists decide to take advantage of the uninvited commotion. They brought with them my bag (a little heavier with my baby niece’s bare essentials in it), my case, and my parent’s attaché case.

Just outside our gates, I watch as people carried their belongings frantically away from the fire. From household appliances to cooking utensils, people carried everything that they can away to safety fuelled by the burning scene. They were carrying everything that they have while I asked my mom and my sister to carry a bag and 2 cases of documents.

Thank God for my Dad who recognized long ago the importance of shelling out a small piece of fortune every year for fire insurance on our humble abode... Thank God we didn't have to file for fire insurance claim as well.

So while everything around me is in a state of anarchy with me still cranky from my revoked “R and R” time, I grabbed a pocketful of moment and converted other people's misery into my entertainment by brushing up on my amateur photography skills.

Yes, I’m a heartless bitch! Especially when I’m robbed of some shut-eye and my appointment with my soft, homey bed is canceled.

1 hour later, firemen successfully stopped the infernal destruction dead on its track 2 blocks away from our house. No injuries were reported. Unfortunately, several homes, including a local elementary school were reduced to ash or damaged by the blaze.

The Whore

In my pursuit of the extraordinary act of what is famously known as “moving on”, I joined an old friend’s entourage to the Halloween Circuit Party of the year. Why? Cause I don’t want to be a love whore anymore.

These kinds of revelries, and the rants and raves that goes along with it, is not new to me. In fact, I have considered attending to one numerous times in the past.

That’s the thing though, I only considered it. I always had my eye towards the light but I never had the strength to walk towards it… until now. I thought this is the right time to be a party whore… being single and all. Better be a party whore than a love whore.

The time, October 29th. The venue, World Trade Center.

While there’s an obvious scarcity of parking spaces for the fashionably late, we luckily found an empty lot on the highway isle. We unmercifully climbed over the isle and drove through the grass and plants and made a stop on their flora carcasses that would make Capt. Planet bitch slap our party ass.  

My friend, and designated driver, turned the engine off, faced us and shared a bottle of Gatorade. And in the cover of darkness and coconut trees, we shared among the five of us the funky tasting power drink. As for me, I gulp down my first taste of party drug as I listen to the faint sound of the thumpa-thumpa booming from afar.

My-first-party-drug

I’ve been avoiding this substance but no longer. It’s my final act before crossing the other side. Whether of the grass is greener on that side or not, I have no idea. All I know is I want to escape the state where I am right now.

The World Trade Center was stripped of its monotonous, commercial stature and was transformed into a spontaneous party sanctuary dressed in flamboyant explosion of lights and sounds. The local partizens were no less glitzy in their glamorous costumes.

As we walked towards the venue, I can feel it take effect. My heart beating louder and louder in synch with the succulently screaming sound of the whole center. My head feeling light as feather. My sight deliciously spinning.

We entered the hall into a slightly lit makeshift tunnel built to create an excitement until you reach the other end. And what an amazing sight it was. I feel like I am in one of the queer as folk episode and any moment I will bump into Brian Kinney making out with some hot guy or Michael dancing with Ben.

Everything was so beautiful that I almost cried… the light and sound set-up was overwhelming… I just wanna fucking dance the night away. I feel like I love everyone. But that could have been just the E talking. 

No, it’s definitely the E.

Midway through the good vibes, a revelation: My friend shared that there’s an after party that we are attending and I would appreciate it more than the party itself. Judging from my friend’s grin that spans ear to ear, I knew what is that after party.

Finally, I got my wish granted. From a love whore to a party whore, soon, I will be just plain whore. 16 men, 10 hours, 1 room, 5 rounds of recreational drugs and unlimited supply of condoms and lube. That’s one mighty concoction of libido.

We left for the after party at 4 am and went straight to a Makati Condominium. We were met with another shot of E.

I kissed, sucked, fucked, got sucked, got fucked… all the sexual innuendos devoid of any affection just hot men acting on their raw urges to feast on someone else’s flesh.

10 hours of fucking later, I went home. My mind, body and spirit totally drained out of energy but still elated as the last drops of party fluid works its magic in my system.

In my room I went straight to the bathroom and cleaned myself while waiting for the juice that made me the whore that night to evaporate. 10 minutes later, I’m in my bed awake staring at the ceiling just drunk and high enough to let go of my pride. I can taste the saline as my tears unceremoniously flow from my eyes to my mouth.

That night, I cried myself to sleep realizing that I’m back to where I started only stripped of the remaining innocence that I have tried so hard to protect.

I’m still a love whore.

Maybe

I have spent precious moments thinking over a proposition given by my friends. It was laid over the table 3 weeks ago by JR, one of my closest friends and confidant backed up by LJ, another close pal that I haven't seen for ages.

Now I’m inside the comforts of my four corners, staring at the ceiling and still thinking whether I will accept the offer or not.

"We want you in." LJ explained one fine day at the newly built Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf Coffee shop at Shangri-La. "We got everything taken care off dude! Just buy the ticket now…”

Then the inevitable…

"…If you want, I'll get your Mavié's permission myself so that you can come with us..."

Mavié.

I haven't heard nor blurted out that name for a while. The word still ring in my ears and still stabs my heart. I die a little every time I hear that French word that we affectionately chose to be our term of endearment. I can hear the name echo in the chasms of my memory. It’s resonance literally squeezing the life out of me.

LJ has gone out of the circulation that he doesn't know what has been in the headline recently… clearly, the news of me gone free agent again hasn’t reached his ears.

And obviously, JR didn't say a thing.

"You need this." JR calmly shared as he took a swag of his cold frap.

It's been a while since I went out of the country. The last time I went abroad, I've gone stateside visiting Arizona and Hollywood. That was before I met him.

For a while I’ve been doing a lot of stuff to forget him. Maybe that’s the issue. I’m still doing things for him. Even the things that I think will make me forget him has been done with him in consideration. Maybe I’m doing things for all the wrong reasons.

So now, this time, I’m accepting my friends proposal. Not for him nor anybody else.

I’m doing this to be happy. I’m doing this for me.

I turned over and grabbed my laptop at the bed side table and turned it on. With a few words pressed on the slick, black keyboard and a few clicks with my small, Genius mouse, I went online, booked the flight and shoot JR and LJ a text message.

Singapore, Malaysia and Indonesia, here I come!!!

I hope this time, it’ll be different.

Real Steel, Real Still

9:00 PM, Robinson's Place, Manila

While for others, what I’m going to do is as insignificant as a single grain of sand on a beach,  for me, my action for the next 2-3 hours is like a 50 feet tidal wave in its impact.

A milestone. A feat.

Yes. I have come to a decision, with scrupulous effort, that today would be the day that I would do something that I haven't done for a very long time. 

Watch a movie.

Alone.

The decision didn't come easy. It has always been "me-plus-friends" or "me-plus-boyfriend".  Unfortunately, the mathematics behind my life recently has spiraled depressingly downbeat. I am now “me-minus-boyfriend”.

It took 3 friends to encourage me to jackhammer reason in me and 1 month to pickup myself, dust myself of and finally break my shell of depression and start walking towards the light of independence.

Gotta learn how to walk first. Then hopefully soon, run.   

I never watch a movie alone. I think we have established that. Going inside the dark, cold hall of motion pictures and mesmerizingly watch as the flickers of the silver screen synchs with the booming surround sound often overwhelms me. Now, it also reminds me of how Mavié and I are kindred spirit and how movies moves us like Mosses parting the red sea. Just thinking of these moments with him only do nothing but throws stabs of cardiac pain every time I think of it.  

I admit. This is going to be throbbingly difficult but I also know that I need to do this. Like what Keith Urban said, “It’s gonna hurt bad before it gets better.”

So, with 2 unsuccessful attempts, I'm now inside Robinson’s Place Cinema choosing between a local movie about infidelity, a film about brawling robots or a motion picture about a lunar science fiction thriller. Either way, the fact remains. I'm there choosing a film to watch sans Mavié. Progress, at least.

After 30 minutes of thorough evaluation. I'm inside Cinema 6 with a Grandé Watermelon Pearl Shake and a bucket of sour cream flavored popcorn watching teaser after teaser of movies coming soon and due early next year. Soon the last minute full show already started. I’ve chosen a 2 hour, 7 minute, Action/ Adventure, Real Steel.

Why? The Filipino Adult film, “No Other Woman” may boast of comedic love triangle with unforgettable lines reminiscent of the golden age of Philippine Cinema however, it will only remind me of Mavié’s infidelity. I’m just not ready for that. On the other hand, the suspense/fantasy “Apollo 18” would only give me nightmares for the next couple of weeks and I don’t need to be stressed any more.

So there I was enjoying the Father and son team up in a sport of boxing gone hi-tech. Fairly safe for my first movie alone and while Real Steel is hampered by leaden, clichéd moments in which a stubborn boy teaches his childish father a valuable lesson, at least the well-paced action is rarely creaky.

Real Steel is worth the money and one Sunday night.

Real still, I went out of the cinema happy and proud that I have done it but wishing I had seen it with him.

Future Boyfriend

I was getting really bored playing Cityville, Zooworld and Zynga Poker via Facebook and getting really horny when I decided to stop building my own real estate empire ala Zobel de Ayala for a while in exchange for selling my soul to the devil and satisfy my thirst for hot and steamy night games.

I haven’t open my “PR” account for more than a year so I was surprised when I found out that my sinful account is still active and screaming for attention.

Getting a serious date from a gay social website, were the main goal is to fornicate (in all essence of the word) was never my intention. After all, what could be more fun than having a no strings attached fuck-o-rama with a guy or two?

And since I recently found myself single and ready to fucking mingle, I have decided that I am exercising my God given gay right to bonk as many guy as possible.

So there I was, browsing over the list of hot and not so hot men who is both near my area and currently online when his profile shout-out caught my attention.

It reads: “Wrong love, right time. Right love, wrong time.”

I looked at the picture and he got my little soldier tingling.

Boy was he cute! He looked like a member of a Korean boyband... my kind of boy toy.

It was even more surprising when he sent me a message.

 “Hi. Thanks for viewing my profile =)” It said.

I then realized that he can actually check the people who viewed his profile. What more can I do but replied back.?

“=) You got me interested with your profile shout-out.”

And then I don’t know what hit me that I sent another text message before he replied on the first one.

“Wanna hang out later?”

-----------------
5 hours later, I’m at SM Valenzuela picking him up. It was raining hard so we decided to just spend the night drinking at a nearby comedy bar.

We got to know each other. And after just 30 minutes with him, I knew we had a connection.

I admit, I enjoyed his company. He's intelligence was just as impressive as his KPop persona. We were talking about a lot of things and he kept my mind off of "some" things. That night it was just me and him. and I'm happy that it was.

I can spend the whole day just by looking at his eyes. I get lost when I watch his smile. I can waste forever and just hug him for all eternity… or at least I think I can.

Needless to say, I like him.

I was already half drunk and busy oogling at him when I heard the comedian-slash-comedienne shout out his name. His eyes shouted suprise as he went in front and up the stage reeled by the host-slash-hostess.

“Who are you with?”

“I’m with Sylvan” He answered.

“Who is he?”

“My future boyfriend.” He declared with a grin that reduced his Korean eyes to a slit.

Future Boyfriend. That’s me to him.

I said to myself, with schizophrenic caution, this is fast and I mean supersonic fast.

Sure I’m having a blast and I can feel we had a connection not to mention that we held hands the whole night stealing kisses here and there. But I wasn’t expecting anything other than having a good time... in or out of the bed.

So up on the stage, he sang “Wherever you will go” by the Calling and Parokya ni Edgar’s “Halaga” for me.

And as I watch him belting the songs that he dedicated to me with his killer smile flashing directly at our table, I knew I am trudging an über dangerous road.

I know he is not Maviè.

He is someone else...

And just like what’s his profile said, I waited for the night to end, kiss him goodnight and went home sending him one last text message.

For You Bro

I know that you’re gone for more than 4 years already and I would like to think that you are just there somewhere watching over me.

I want and need you to know that I love you very much and I miss you everyday. Nothing can compare to what you have given me. Time has gone on, but the pain of knowing that I lost you doesn't make it any easier still. I still find myself wishing that it wasn't true.

I miss you. You’re my brother, my best friend, my confidant. I love you with all my heart. You gave me something that I will never forget: You helped make me who I always was meant to be. I know that you would want me to move on and for the longest time, I haven’t but now, I’m happy to say that I have. Life is not the same without you though. And I wish I could share everything that I have to you like we did before.

There have been others, but I find myself trying to compare them to you and they don't measure up. I think I found one but he is not you and you can never be replaced. Still, he is like you in some ways and we have shared things and enjoyed stuff like you and I did before. I’m happy I have found him.

Thank you Yanni. You were the brother I never had. I’m lucky that you were, and still are, the best friend I ever had.

Rest in peace bro.

I wish I could have gotten to say goodbye.

Coming Out of the Military Closet

An airman tells his dad he is gay as ‘don’t ask’ policy of the US Military disappears.

The military's ban on openly gay service officially ended yesterday and already one member of the Air Force has shared a video of his personal journey out of the closet.

A 21-year-old servicemember who had been keeping an anonymous VLog about his quest to come out to his girlfriend, family, and comrades posted a video of his call to his father this morning to tell him he is gay. His father pauses before saying, "I still love you son. Doesn't change our relationship."

Watching this video made me hopeful that soon, "discrimination" is going to be nothing but a footnote.

Day Dream Erotica

I woke up drowsily from my sleep as he slowly brushed his finger on the contours of my body. I fell asleep waiting for him. His kiss in my lips gently warmed my body and dragged me out of my daze. Under the white satin sheet that barely covered my lower body, I was as naked as I was born. I smiled as I watch him move back from the bed and removed his clothing.

Now we were both naked. Raw.

He joined me in the bed that we have shared for years and held me tenderly. As I lay my head against his impressive chest, I could hear his heartbeat and felt his strength. It was the strength of a man who does not want to let go.

Every breath sent shivers through my body.  Every caress of his hands made my aching erection scream towards climax.  He knew exactly how to touch me.  He knew exactly where to stroke, with the right speed for the right moment.

He then lied on top of me and gave me a deep, passionate kiss until he brought me into a shuddering orgasm. His touch continued to be perfect. Soon, he sprayed stream after stream of his hot cum.

I felt like we were connected more intimately than ever.

We continued to kiss. I want to have all of his essence. He wanted more of mine. After the intense exchange of love and lust, we were both spent.  We drifted into a peaceful sleep content in each other's arms.

I often dream of such a perfect union between us. But then, beneath the warm, almost hot, spray of water in the gym shower, I woke up from my trance with tears from eyes knowing that the realization of this dream is like finding a needle in a haystack.

We parted ways 3 weeks ago and I’m afraid that’s it.

Elevator Blues

Hapon na nang ako'y nagising.

Alam kong hapon na dahil di na mainit na liwanag ang pumapasok sa aking bintana. Nagaaway ang dilaw at pulang sinag ng araw ang tumatagos at gumagapang sa loob ng aking kwarto.

Okay lang naman. Sabado ngayon at walang pasok.

Bumangon ako at nagtimpla ng kape. Habang dahan dahan kong pinaiikot ang kutsarita sa mainit na tinimpla, humarap ako sa bintana at masayang pinanood and dahang dahang paglubog ng araw at paghalik nito sa malawak na karagatan. Naisip ko, pagkaganda-gandang tignan ng araw sa dapit hapon.

Nang matapos kong mainom ang ginawa kong kape, bumalik ako sa kusina at marahang inilagay sa lababo ang tasa. Sa sahig, tinali ko ang "bag" na naglalaman nang aking basura at dinala ito sa labas ng kwarto ko para maitapon. Mabilis akong nagsuot ng sando dahil kailangan ko pang bumaba ng isang palapag para maitapon sa "garbage chute" ang basura kong dala.

Sira ang "garbage shoot" sa "floor" namin kaya kailangang umakyat o bumaba ng isang palapag para maitapon ang aming basura. Dahil isang palapag lang naman ang aking bababain, di na ako sumakay ng elevator at pinili kong gamitin na lang ang "service stairs".

Nagpo-protestang umiyak ang kina-kalawang na pintuan ng "garbage shoot" ng ito ay binuksan. Ganun din ang paglalangit-ngit nito matapos siyang gamitin at isara. Nakasalubong ko ang huling gumamit ng "garbage shoot" sa mahabang daan ng kanilang palapag. At ng kami na ay magkaharap, kami ay nagkatanginan na tila bang may binabangit sa isat-isa. Gusto ko sanang hawakan siya, kausapin ngunit hawak ko ang mabigat na itim na plastic ng basura kaya wala akong nagawa kundi maglakad ng diretso at panoorin siyang lumayo.

Isinara ko ang pinto ng aking unit pero di ang isip sa lalaking nakasalubong. Pinilit na tinapos ang binabasang libro pero walang pumapasok sa isip kundi ang mga mata ng nasa ibabang palapag. Huminto na lang ako sa pagbabasa at bumalik ulit sa tapat ng bintana kasabay ng pagbukas ng isang malamig na serbesa. Pinanood kong lumubog ang araw hangang lamunin siya ng dagat upang magbigay daan sa paglabas ng buwan at mga bituin sa pusod ng langit.

Muli ko pa ba siyang makikita?

Makaaraan ang isang oras. Nasa harap na ako ng elevator at inaayos ang suot kong polo. Mula sa isa sa mga kalapit na unit sa floor ko, tumutugtog nang pagkalakas-lakas ang "Ships" ni Barry Manilow... "We're still here. It's just that we're out of sight. Like those ships that pass in the night...". Naiisip ko, kailangan kong lumabas, kailangan kong gumala... kailangan ko ito.

Bumaba na ang elevator ilang segundo pagkatapos kong pumasok… at ilang segundo ulit ang nagdaan ng ito ay muling bumukas.

Mabilis siyang pumasok sa loob ng maliit na kahong bakal. May mga tao na sa loob ng elevator. Isang babae at lalake na magkaholding hands... at sa likod nila, ako. "Uhm, hello." marahan niyang nabangit bago pumuwesto sa kabilang kanto ng likod ng elevator.

"Hello," Sagot ko naman.

Makintab ang mga bakal na pader ng elevator. Kitang-kita mo ang repleksyon ng lahat ng nasa loob. Ang magkahawak na kamay nung dalawa sa harapan namin, ang malaking mukha ni "Mickey Mouse" sa itim na tshirt nang lalaki, ang naguumbukang dib-dib nang babae... at ang marahang pagtitinginan naming dalawa sa apat na nagkikintabang pader ng bumababang sasakyan.

Bumukas ang pinto ng elevator at lumabas na ang mag-syota sa "6th floor"

5...

4...

3...

2...

"Sylvan." "Sean."

Sabay naming nasambit ang aming mga pangalan kalakip ang nagtatamisang ngiti.

Free Rapid HIV Testing – Quick and Confidential Results

While the rest of the world mourns the first decade of the twin destruction of the World Trade Center in New York last Sunday, I remembered my own ground zero moment (I just broke up with Mavié) by going to the free HIV confidential counseling and testing event sponsored by the LOVE YOURSELF PROJECT.

We were together for the last year and 2 months and I trust him enough (much to my dismay) to do the nasties bareback. When I found out that he was cheating, I figured, I should better get myself checked.

And checked I did that day plus more…

I didn’t know what to expect. I didn’t even know where the testing center was. The thing that really had me fished and reeled to this event was that it’s going to be performed on a discreet place.

 When I got there, I got myself checked in on the registration. Then it was followed by a focus group discussion led by a peer educator then the actual blood extraction and test squeezed in between the pre-test and post-test  analysis by a license doctor.

I can say that I’m pretty well-informed as far as HIV / AIDS and Sexually Transmitted Infections (STI’s) are concerned however, the knowledge I got on the focus group discussion really got my STI education matriculate big time. That alone was already worth spending my whole afternoon for.

Another thing that I notice is the warmth and friendliness of the people organizing this initiative. I really felt taken care of.

The fact that the result was favorable was also something to rejoice.

Anyway, I encourage everyone to take the test, discreet testing centers or not, so here is a repost of a Manila Gay Guy (Migs) Original Blog. If I here another testing soon, I’ll definitely have it posted.

Again, protect yourself. Take the test.

====================

A member of the new group Take The Test Inc. sent the following information – I’m posting this for those who would like to have their FREE HIV test and get the results quickly:

MANILA

a. Manila Social Hygiene Clinic (near SM San Lazaro / Tayuman / San Lazaro Hospital..) Mondays to Fridays only 8am-2pm – results after 30 mins

QUEZON CITY

a. Batasan Social Hygiene Clinic (near Batasan..) Mondays to Fridays only 8am-2pm – results after 20-30 mins

b. Proj. 7 Social Hygiene Clinic (Bansalangin St. Teachers Village near SM North) Monday to Friday only 8am-3pm – results after 20-30 mins

c. Bernardo Social Hygiene Clinic ( at the back of Ramon Magsaysay High School, CUBAO) Monday to Friday 8am-3pm – results after 20-30 mins

PASAY

a. Pasay Social Hygiene Clinic (Pasay City Hall – Mon – Thurs 9am to 11am only) – results in the afternoon

CALOOCAN

a. Caloocan Social Hygiene Clinic (Caloocan City Hall – Monday TO Friday only 8am-3pm) – results after 20-30 mins

And a gentle reminder — if you do not want to go alone, why not tag along a friend. Or, if you’re scared, talk to Jake (monkeyboy589@yahoo.com) he’s willing to accompany you through the process.

Salted Tea

Jacob met Patrick at a party.

Jacob was good looking and there were many guys oogling at his stunning features during the party to validate his godliness. On the other hand, Patrick was a commoner and he might as well be invisible as nobody bothered to notice him.

At the end of the party, Patrick, drunk, invited him to have coffee with him. Jacob was surprised but Patrick was very polite and unlike, the other stunning guys on the party, he felt Patrick's sincerity and accepted the offer. They went in a nearby coffee shop and sat at one of the table set outside. He ordered tea while Jacob paid for a tall espresso. In front of royalty, the commoner was too nervous to say anything.

Uncomfortable and bored, Jacob is starting to regret that he accepted Patrick's offer. 

Suddenly, Patrick asked the waiter, "Would you please give me some salt? I'd like to put it in my tea."

Jacob at him for his strange request! His face turned red but still, he put the salt in his tea and drank it.

Curious, Jacob asked,  "Why do you add salt to your tea?"

He replied, "When I was a little boy, I lived near the sea. I liked playing in the sea where I could feel the taste of the sea which is just like the taste of the salty tea. Now every time I have the salty tea, I always think of my childhood and my hometown. I miss my hometown so much. I miss my parents who are still living there."

While saying that, tears filled his eyes. Jacob was deeply touched. That must have been his true feelings from the bottom of his heart. A man who can express his homesickness must be a man who loves home, cares about home and takes responsibility of his home... Then Jacob also started to talk about his faraway hometown, his childhood and his family.

That was a really nice talk and also a beautiful beginning to their story. They continued to date. Jacob found that Patrick was actually a man who meets all his criteria of a good partner; he had tolerance, was kind hearted, warm and careful. He was such a good person and Jacob almost missed him! Luckily, his salty tea brought them together! and they lived a happy life together... And every time Jacob made tea for him, he put some salt in it as he knew that's the way he liked it.

After more than half a decade, tragedy struck the loving couple. Patrick was killed in an accident weeks before their seventh anniversary and while cleaning the condominium they shared, Jacob saw a letter addressed to him which has a date of what could have been their 7th anniversary.

The letter said,

"My dearest, please forgive me, forgive my whole life's lie. This was the only lie I said to you - the salty tea. Remember the first time we dated? I was so nervous that I actually wanted some sugar but I said salt. It was hard for me to change what I said so I just went ahead. I never thought that could be the start of our communication! I tried to tell you the truth many times, but I was too afraid to do that as I have promised not to lie to you about anything… I'm writing this letter to you to tell you how much I love you and how much I am ashamed of keeping this lie to you.

To tell you the truth my love, I don't like the strange bad taste of salty tea... But I have had salty tea for since I knew you, I never felt sorry for anything I had ever done for you. Having you with me is my biggest happiness throughout my whole life. If I can live for the second time, I would still want to know you and be with you for my whole life even though I would have to drink the salty tea everyday."

Jacob tears made the letter totally wet.

One day, someone asked him, "What's the taste of salty tea?"

He replied, "It's sweet."

Gym Rants: The Good, The Bad and The Fugly 3

Read the FIRST part here.
Read the SECOND part here.

I stayed in the steam room and hoped that Mr Fugly left the gym already. And just when I thought Mr. Fugly is gone, the steam room door opened. I didn’t know who it was initially because I had my eyes closed. I thought it was Mr Fugly but when I opened my eyes and looked at the guy, it was Mr Good in all of his hotness smiling at me.

==========================================================

Mr Good sat in front of me. Boy was he hot!!! I can’t get my eyes off of him. He is the person I wanna be with and with a body I wanna have.

He sat in front of me still flashing his heavenly smile with a hint of devilish grin. I’m like a moth infatuatedly fascinated by the flickering tongue of the candle light. One small mistake and crashing and burning is a certainty.

Our eyes were locked at each other like we were studying each other’s features. I wanna looked at his body and the bulge between his two legs but there something in his eyes that kept me mesmerized. Neither of us looked at anything else but the contours of our faces even after the door opened and someone entered.

Enter Mr Bad and out goes my visual battle with Mr Good for psychological supremacy.

I saw how Mr Bad eyed Mr Good and understood why he sat in front of Mr Good and a few feet away from me. Mr Good looked at him and looked back at me, I looked at him with raised eyebrows and looked back at Mr Good. Then our conversation started to get serious.

Mr Good stood up and approached me. He offered a hand and said “Hi!”

Now it’s my time to smile. I took his hand and we exchange pleasantries after that while Mr Bad watch in envy. I learned he’s an account executive while doing freelance modelling on the side. I shared that I’m a Quality Analyst (doing my boyfriend on the side).

Mr Good asked me if he could speak to me frankly. I said, "sure". He explained to me that he was attracted to me and that he had been since the first time he had noticed me at the gym some time before I noticed him. Hoah! Talk about a major esteem boost.

I admit. I felt a slight tingle in my crotch but I knew that’s a line I wouldn’t cross. He did stroke my ego... the only thing he would get his hands on that day.

When Mr Bad heard me tell Mr Good I’m already taken, Mr Bad decided to be more aggressive. He stood up and went in front of us and decided to show his moves. He flexed, he touched, he looked, he licked his lips... it was a show....

The moment he sat and rubbed his crotch, which is at least 6 inches semi-hard already, in front of us, I went out. I am gay and no doubt Mr Bad is hot but I know he’s exhibitions were not meant for me and so I left before the heat gets into my head and I decide to “play” with Mr Good so that Mr Bad can watch our desires envelopes our towelled body in envy. Before I left, I smiled at Mr Good and said with undeniable sincerity, “All yours.” and called it a day.

Surprisingly, Mr Good went out after me, I guess it’s not his cup of tea too. We went out of the gym together and had a great conversation before we went our separate ways at the Bus stop. (He’s from Las Piñas and I’m from Kalookan).

Mr Fugly still cruises up to this date. I rarely saw Mr Bad work out in that branch again. Mr Good and I became gym buddies. He never tried to hit on me again.

In Memoriam

Mavié B, outstanding quality analyst for a world-known company and a hopeful writer / blogger of www.silverwing-angel.blogspot.com, died this morning from complications of losing his soul mate and his lover.

He was 25 years old.

Outspoken and a comic, Mavié was and always been a hopeless romantic… a persona that he magnificently revealed to the world during his one year and two month relationship with his reputed soul mate until the final days of his life.

Sadly, his pursuit for true love ended late Tuesday night in complete and utter failure. Yet even in certain defeat, the daring and brave Mavié secretly clung to the belief that everything happens for a reason and that life is not merely a series of meaningless accidents or coincidences but rather, it’s a tapestry of events that culminate in an exquisite, sublime plan.

Ultimately, Mavié concluded that if we are to live life in harmony with the universe, we must all possess a powerful faith in what the ancients used to call "fatum", what we currently refer to as destiny.

High School Blues

I kissed him with fervent passion, our tongues intertwined as our sides stroked up against each other. He moaned into my mouth, I grabbed his dick and started slowly stroking it. 

Our 1st time, and me about to lose my virginity.

I took his rock hard pole out. It was already jizzing precum, I smirked, as I quickly lick it off, and kissed him. I quickly took his dick in my mouth as if I was hungry and haven't eaten in weeks. His eyes widen as he let out a loud moan. I kept going. 

I heard him gasp. I kept sucking him for all he was worth and loving every moment of it. He screamed my name. The wind blew in his hair, as I looked up at his beautiful eyes in the sunlight. That look in his eyes, I knew he was there. He screamed in pure pleasure. Not wanting to look weak, I swallowed, it was good and it was really good! 

I knew I'd be doing that quite often. "I-it's 1:00, we gotta go back to school.” 

I sighed, as I got myself straighten out. I look back to see if he was ready. He was. He stood up shaking as he held my hand and we walked off back towards the school. I smirked. "Enjoyed it?" I asked. 

He nodded. "That was amazing...I need to come over your house so we can...ya know, finish." He continued blushing. Damn he's so cute! "Heard that right!"

We walked back up to our high school. We made it just in time, I kissed him good bye, as he got on his school bus.

Passing

I rose and proceeded down the aisle...

towards the filled casket.

I stood at the brink and slowly looked over the edge. I used to be scared of death. Not anymore. I saw there, his calm shell. I couldn't cry. He hates it when I do. There would be mourning of course, but for now, seeing him lying there, peaceful, is enough.

They said he died with his family by his side. I'm sorry I wasn't there.

Now, his eyes closed a smile on his lips, and his heart open. He let so many people into his heart, that even in death, he brings life. I couldn't help but smile. My love was at peace. I slowly folded my hands and said a prayer to him.

As I finished, I looked into his face and mouthed the words...

Queer as Manila Folk

 I was rushing to work this evening when I stumble on an old friend.

James is actually a friend of my best friend’s boyfriend and we were introduced to each other years before we actually became close friends. And when I brought in my ex to join our small gang, he and my ex became BFF’s.

Since the rain decided to drop in unexpectedly, we found ourselves stuck in "Shangri La" waiting for the heavy downpour to end but shared an opportunity to catch up. I found out that he already broke up with his beau of more than 10 years, Sonny, and now a manager of a shoe boutique.

It’s good to see old friends again. It’s like going back to the place where you grew up or looking on a dusty, old photograph. Good times just keep rising from the depths of our memories leaving the bad times at the back of our mind. I remember spending every night in their (Sonny and his) humble, Al Fresco Resto doing nothing but eat and watch "teleserye’s" while playing Scrabble or Monopoly. We laughed ourselves until the wee hours of the morning. I wish we have met on a moment when I’m not pressed for time or he is not on his way to meet his current boyfriend.

As the evening shower slowly wanes, we went our separate ways. He asked for my number, my Facebook account with an invite that we should meet again soon as well as a favor to ask.

Once, a long long time ago, back when we still had our regular prime time "teleserye" marathon while trying to "avoid getting in jail" and fighting each other over "Boardwalk", I shared a passage to him

It was actually a good passage. It made me believe in God again. I promised that I’ll send him a copy of the passage.

I just sent it to him a few minutes ago and I’m sharing it with you guys now. Hope it will have the same impact to you guys as it did to me.

"I think God appreciates it even more because he created you in his image.

At least that's what I was always taught.

And since God is love and God doesn't make mistakes, then you must be exactly the way he wants you to be.

And that goes for every person, every planet, every mountain, every grain of sand, every song, every tear... and every faggot.

We're all his….and He loves us all."

-Ted, Queer as Folk

Hark a Herald Angel Writes

Last February, I took the arduous responsibility of launching my own BLOG. I say “arduous” because you see, that was the moment when my former client decided that their money are best spent elsewhere and unceremoniously ramped the account down to a close.

My job über demanded so much time that giving birth to my own cyberplace in the cyberuniverse was something that only a submissive masochist will carry out.

Whilst I find gratification in soreness and pain, I have my agenda. Amidst all the ruckus of my otherwise dull, peaceful life, I find an unsure tranquility when I put pen to paper. Having followers to admire and enjoy your literary skills is just a by-product should you let go of the conventional ink on paper and fly over and take on the cyber world via the wonders of digital letter.

To put it in plain words, blogging became my literary zen. 7 months later and with considerably less weighty yoke than when I started, I’m still at it.

And with 2 more joining my flock of readers that seem to be suprisingly pleased with my rants and raves, I’m on the starting line of a challenge to write more work.

For You...

For the past week, we had a couple of fights. We threatened to cut each other's head off and tears rolled like salty mudslides over the contours of our faces.  Blood was almost spilt. Feelings have been hurt repeatedly over trust that's been broken.

But then.

We kissed. We make up. We fight. We considered breaking up. We talk. We kissed.

NOTE: WE TALK. WE KISSED. WE MAKE UP.

So to you who is trying his best to win my husband...

Oo ikaw! Alam kong binabasa mo ang blog ko. Para sa iyo ito...

He loves me, I love him.

FACT: I am the legal husband.

FACT: Kabit ka.

Tigilan mo kami! He did proved to me that he won't give me up as long as we love each other and we both are willing to work it out, there's no way in hell I'm giving him up.

Not to you. Not to anyone else.

Wrong Send

My phone vibrated in sync with my boyfriend’s moment to set off from work. I knew it was him even before I unlocked my phone and read the text message.

"Pauwi nko ynaro. 2log himbing. Mwah! Love you!"

Sarap pakingan ano? The problem is, our term of endearment is MAVIE and not YNARO.

I replied.

"WRONG SEND KA!!"

He texted back.

"Mavie ko "ynaro" means "my love" sa japanese. Hnd po ako wrong send syo."

Natameme naman ako.  I was embarassed, almost apologetic. Maybe I just over reacted... or maybe not. So I went scampering to the other side of the production floor en route to the workforce bay cause I know for a fact that one of those schedule keepers did hard time in the land of the rising sun.

Me: Jane, what's the japanese word for "My love"?

Jane: Huh? Sorry I can't remember.

Me: Is it Ynaro?

Jane: Well, I'm pretty sure it's not.

By this time I'm already fuming. Nanginginig na ako sa galit. But still, I stayed calm. Jane said she's pretty sure "Ynaro" is not the translation for "My Love." But then again, she also said she can't remember her Nihongo. At this point, I need certainty and "pretty sure" is not sure enough.

I search for the english translation of "Ynaro" both in Yahoo and Google. The closest possible english translation was the spanish word "Enero" for the first month of the year.

Maybe I got the darn spelling wrong kaya nag-search pa ako for the english translations of, "Inaro", "Ynaru" and "Inaru".

Nada.

My anger shifted to pain... cardiac pain. I'm hurting big time. Still, I forged on and tried seeking out for answers and hoped that my last resort will come bearing fruits... and not the bitter kind.

I translated three possible variation of the japanese word in 2 translator websites.

Love - ai

I Love you - Ai shi teru

My Love - watashi no koi / watashi no ai

My eyes were fixed at the glimmering LCD monitor hoping if I stared at it long enough the information might changed. I went down and sat outside the building, composed myself and pushed his mobile number on my phone with bitter pain.

Who I thought was watashi no koi was engaging in a sankaku kankei.

1 year and 1 month after he asked me to be his boyfriend, I seriously considered giving him up. Sana sinaksak na lang niya ako. At least after my blood flowed out of my body, it would also carry away my worries, my pain and my life I planned to share with him.